


Coming Home

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unbeknownst to Kieren, Rick is on leave from the army and back in Roarton for Christmas, and his parents have invited him to come stay with them.</p><p>For the 2015 ITF Advent Event. <a href="http://intheflesh-art.tumblr.com/post/134750596215/advent-calendar-december-7h">Artwork</a> by <a href="http://aislinceivun.tumblr.com/">aislinceivun</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> The stunning art for this piece is by [aislinceivun](http://aislinceivun.tumblr.com/) and you can find it [here](http://intheflesh-art.tumblr.com/post/134750596215/advent-calendar-december-7h). Please be sure to like/reblog to show your appreciation!

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes.

* * *

 

“Kieren, could you go help your dad set the table?”

Kieren frowned, looking at the pot of vegetables his mum had only just put on the stove. A chicken was already roasting in the oven.

“Isn’t it a bit early?”

“Go set the table, love,” she urged, looking up with a smile. Kieren didn’t like that look. He’d been getting it all day, and it was making him nervous. He gathered the cutlery and made his way from the kitchen, fearful of what his family might be planning. It was only the 22nd, but it was hard to ignore the buildup to… whatever was going on. Something had been off for a week or so, but had been worse since he’d woken up that morning. His parents had been giving each other conspiratorial glances and smiles when he was around all day, making him wonder at first if his hair was sticking up oddly or paint smudged on his face, and Jem had looked very much like there was something she wanted to blurt out. Usually she was hopeless at keeping a secret, but even her conversation with her brother gave nothing away. That in itself rang alarm bells. They were very clearly planning something.

Or perhaps he was just being oversensitive and reading into things that weren’t there, Kieren thought as he started laying cutlery out on the table. He didn’t bother enlisting the help of his dad, who was at the computer trying to make another Christmas playlist. Snippets of Slade, Mariah Carey, Dean Martin and The Pogues played out across the dining area, far too loudly. Steve was clearly enjoying himself. Adjusting the decorated candelabra that had appeared for the festive season, Kieren sighed again, nudging the plastic holly wound around it. If his family were going to keep this up, he was going to barricade himself in his room. They’d gone all-out on the decorations this year. He glanced up at the tinsel framing the doorway, and the pretty foil decorations suspended from the ceiling, blowing a puff of air at them as he did to make them spin lazily. The whole house was adorned with decorations and lights, although this year Kieren had mercifully been allowed to direct the decoration of the tree, so it wasn’t as gaudy and, quite frankly, traumatised as it had been last year. Less was usually more, Kieren thought.

Back in the kitchen, his mum was rummaging through the cupboard, and looked up with a start when Kieren came in.

“Oh you’re done?”

“Need anything else?” he offered, noticing that she’d started pulling their best crockery out - the set normally reserved for special meals and visitors. He eyed the plates suspiciously, still unable to work out what the occasion was.

“Could you, erm,” Sue had seen him looking, “I tell you what, you go sit down and watch TV, and send your dad in for us?”

Kieren nodded, frowning slightly, and left. His dad took a few seconds to register Kieren’s presence as he draw alongside him, watching as he struggled to reorder the playlist.

“Dad, mum wants you in the kitchen.”

“Oh, right, yes, erm…” Steve corrected his expression to give Kieren a grin as he stood up. “Best get on with it.”

Too weird, Kieren decided as his dad went into the kitchen. Jem was upstairs in her room, so he figured he might as well take advantage of the free TV - there might be a half decent film on. He’d only just sat down on the sofa when his dad came out from the kitchen, but rather than returning to the computer as Kieren expected, he crossed to the dining room doors, and shut them. Half-turned in his seat, Kieren simply stared. He could make out his parents moving through the frosted glass, and heard their low voices and the sound of cutlery and crockery being moved, but couldn’t understand what was going on, or why they were resetting the table.

Trying to put it from his mind, he turned to the TV, and flicked through the channels until he found a panel show that seemed distracting enough. He tried not to think of what his parents were doing in the dining area and kitchen, which were clearly out of bounds now, and what they might be planning or about to announce, but that was made all the more difficult when his dad came into the living room, closing the dining room door behind him, and sat next to Kieren, trying far too hard to look relaxed and as if nothing was happening.

“Fancy watching a bit of Only Fools?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kieren agreed wearily. The panel show wasn’t that good. As Steve got up and put the second DVD from the box set into the player, he wondered how long it would be until dinner, and if the bizarre day would end there.

“Dinner should be good,” Steve said happily, sinking into the sofa with a loud sigh. He checked his watch before selecting the ‘play all’ option. “I need to go back in a few, mash the potatoes or something.”

“I thought we were having roast dinner?”

“We are,” his dad said, eyes fixed firmly on the TV. Regarding him closely for another second, Kieren turned his attention to the screen too, giving up.

He nearly had a heart attack when, five minutes later, the doorbell went. He’d been aware of his dad shifting anxiously every few seconds, as if he was waiting for something, and looking at the clock which was steadily approaching 5.30, but at the sound of the doorbell he didn’t seem in a hurry to move.

“Tell you what, you get that, Kier, and I’ll go see if your mum needs a hand.”

Kieren gave his dad a dubious look. He hated the chore of answering the door, especially around Christmas.

“Go on!” Steve urged. They both stood. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you, um… yeah…”

The flush of adrenaline from the startling sound didn’t dissipate, and a nervous knot formed in Kieren’s stomach as it dawned on him that whatever was waiting for him at the door was the reason for his family’s odd behaviour. Perhaps they’d invited Philip and Shirley over, but then why the secrecy? And surely it was too early for a gift to be delivered? Unless Christmas delivery times were more chaotic than Kieren thought they were. Or perhaps it was nothing. It could be unrelated, and the dinner was the main issue…

Kieren’s mind seemed to separate, both hurtling through all the possibilities at lightening speed whilst at the same time remaining oddly blank as he walked towards the door. Stepping into the porch, it was hard to make out the figure standing on the other side of the front door, even with the outside light and Christmas lights illuminating them. Unsurprisingly for the weather they seemed to be wearing a heavy coat, and as Kieren unlocked the door he expected it to be a delivery man.

The very last person he expected to find standing there when he pulled the door open was Rick Macy.

Kieren froze, staring at the young man, his heart instantaneously filled with pain and longing, homesickness rising within him. It didn’t feel real at all. It had starting to snow, and flakes gently drifting towards the ground in the artificial light around and between them, some landing on the army issue jacket Rick was wearing. He was in uniform - beret and all - and standing tall and steady, looking every bit as handsome as he ever did, a nervous smile on his far too pale face as he greeted Kieren.

“Hey.”

His voice was soft and tentative; barely above a cracked whisper, as if he struggled to force the word past a lump in his throat. It made Kieren blink, his attention shifting very firmly to Rick’s gaze. Familiar rich hazel eyes Kieren knew and loved so well stared back, uncertainty and hope unmistakeable in Rick’s expression. He was a painfully open book, both his his longing for Kieren and the fear of standing there so vulnerably and being rejected worn on his sleeve. In all honesty, Kieren thought Rick looked like he was about to throw up, and almost felt like it himself. He was too stunned to take it all in. All the pain and grief of what they’d so suddenly lost conflicted with the warm rush of love and affection, and it felt in those few moments as if everything broke free of the fragile little box Kieren had tried to seal it away in. He didn’t know what to do with the overwhelming emotions. He could count almost to the hour how long it had been since he’d last seen Rick, and his instinct was to reach out for the one person who had always felt like home. He thought Rick might reach out first, but as he regarded him closely, Kieren realised that Rick was too afraid to make the first move, as if he truly thought he wouldn’t be welcome.

With a choked sob, Kieren took a step forwards and flung his arms around Rick, immediately burying himself against the collar of Rick’s jacket. He felt arms come up to encircle him, holding him there so steadily despite the trembling he could feel in Rick’s body. Or perhaps it was his own. He didn’t know. All he could think about was the familiar way Rick smelled, even after all this time and wearing strange clothes, and the fabric against his cheek as he pressed even closer to the comforting warmth. His hold on Rick tightened as he felt tears stinging his eyes, and he couldn’t work out if it was from the pain of all the time they’d been apart, or the overwhelming joy at seeing Rick again. Sobs tore from his chest as he lost the battle against the emotions rising within him, and all he could do was cling to Rick as he fought to find control again. He was aware of a soft breath of laughter in his ear, before Rick groaned and buried his face in Kieren’s shoulder, now definitely shaking; overwhelmed.

When Kieren was eventually able to pull away, it was definitely happiness that had won through. His cheeks were damp with tears, but his heart was filled with such joy he felt buoyed by it. The feeling flickered and then faded, however, when Rick looked at him, and crippling nervousness took its place. Kieren momentarily looked down at the space between them, realising just how cold his wet feet were, as he tried to remember how to breathe. He hadn’t missed the meaning in the way Rick’s gaze had been drawn to his lips, and suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself as he looked up again. He wanted it too. He so desperately wanted it, but didn’t know how to close the distance between them. And nor did Rick.

They stood there, the desire building tangibly between them, until Rick slowly lifted his hand, gently bringing his roughened skin to caress and cup Kieren’s cheek. Kieren’s breath hitched at the touch, and instinctively he leant into it, subtly angling his head a fraction. The ease with which they slipped into such familiar, comforting contact made it second nature to shift again, leaning forward just a fraction in askance, and after a lifetime the distance between them diminished and Rick’s lips pressed tentatively and ever so lightly against Kieren’s.

It felt like relief. It felt as if the universe fragmented and shattered, before reforming around them perfectly. The kiss was lingering, bordering on breaking for a moment, before Kieren renewed it, gently parting his lips and letting his arms wrap around Rick’s strong frame again, unwilling to pull away. His cheek was being caressed, fresh tears of joy being brushed aside as Rick’s arm wrapped so tightly around him, as if Rick was afraid to let go and lose him.

 _Not this time_ , Kieren thought, trembling as the kiss built. _I’m never letting go_.

His own hands played over the thick jacket, trying to feel through it, and his fingers brushed over short hair and traced the clean shaven line of Rick’s jaw. His feet hurt from the cold, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered; only this moment between them.

When the kiss broke, they were both still wrapped in each other’s arms. Kieren lifted his hand to brush away a tear forming at the corner of Rick’s eye, caught in the lines formed by the uplifting smile he wore. It was impossible not to smile back, despite the still overwhelming torrent of emotions inside of him.

“Welcome home, Rick,” Kieren managed, his voice sounding ungraceful in the beautiful moment between them. Rick closed his eyes, a tear falling, and he buried his face against Kieren’s neck, pulling him even closer somehow.

“I missed you so much.”

Rick’s muffled voice sounded strained, and Kieren gently stroked the warm skin of his exposed neck comfortingly. He needed to know why Rick had left the way he did, but in that moment it wasn’t important. It could wait. Whatever had freaked Rick out back then had clearly loosened its hold, or Rick wouldn’t be standing there wearing his heart on his sleeve and clinging to Kieren as if he were life itself.

“Same,” Kieren managed, anything more emotionally involved than that one word beyond his current ability. A shiver reminded him of where exactly they were standing, and he loosened his hold a fraction. “Rick?”

Rick pulled away slowly, looking at Kieren with such a vulnerable, scared expression. “Yeah?”

Kieren couldn’t work out what Rick was still afraid of, and decided to try and figure it out in a minute, once something slightly more pressing had been dealt with. He pulled his body back from Rick’s, and looked pointedly down at his feet.

“Oh, shit!” Rick laughed nervously. “I’m so sorry Ren, oh my god, are you okay?”

His hands were on Kieren’s shoulders, steady and supportive. Kieren nodded, knowing that Rick couldn’t exactly invite himself into the house. “Want to come in?” he offered.

“Yeah, uh…”

It was then, Kieren stepping back into the porch and feeling just how numb his feet had become, that Rick half turned, his snow-dusted rucksack becoming visible leaning against the side of the house. Kieren froze as he saw the pack.

“Your parents said that they’re okay with me staying a few nights, as long as you are,” Rick explained. Kieren had almost completely forgotten about his family, and the weird way they’d been acting. His mind had switched off the instant he’d seen Rick, to the point where he hadn’t put two and two together until Rick mentioned his family.

“So, um…?” Rick looked like a timid teenager, at odds with the impressive military uniform. It reminded Kieren so much of their younger selves, and somehow he’d always known Rick wouldn’t change: it didn’t matter how tough Rick’s exterior appeared to be, he was vulnerable underneath. Right now, he was still afraid that Kieren wouldn’t want him. Kieren didn’t want that - he never wanted Rick to feel like he wasn’t wanted.

“It’s okay,” Kieren said gently. The relief evident on Rick’s face as he smiled and picked up the rucksack, dusting it off, was rewarding. Kieren knew that he could shut the door in Rick’s face, because after so long with no word, and with what Rick had put him through, Kieren would be well within his rights to, but he couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t be like that. Perhaps if Rick had turned up stoney-faced, stoic and unreachable, pretending to be someone or something else, the outcome would have been different, but, despite the uniform, Rick was himself. He wasn’t trying to hide from anything that he was. Kieren loved the honesty, and appreciated it.

“I’m going to have to go get some socks,” he sighed, pulling the sodden ones off and dropping them next to the wellies. “Do you need anything?”

Closing the door after himself, Rick shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

He started unfastening his jacket, and Kieren stood, watching, as yet more camouflage was revealed. He quietly took in the uniform, trying to work out what he felt about it. It signified the profession that had taken Rick away, but at the same time it did look incredibly attractive and more than a little impressive.

Rick caught Kieren staring, and gave an uncertain flicker of a smile. “Do you want me to change?”

Kieren shook his head, taking a step closer. His hands went Rick’s chest, pressing against the material and smoothing over it, getting more of a feel for the man beneath. “No. I think it looks good.”

Rick smiled again, more confidently this time. “I’d hoped you might. That’s why I wore it.”

Kieren looked up at him, taking in the man standing before him: the man he still loved. He swallowed thickly. There should be distance between them after the time Rick had been absent, but everything felt so familiar. Rick wasn’t entirely unchanged, but he was still Rick. It still felt right and natural to be close to him.

“How…” Kieren looked down again as he gathered the strength to speak. “How do we do this?”

“However you want,” Rick said gently, his smile having faded. “As acquaintances, as friends, as best friends, as… Whatever you want.”

He didn’t said it, but the unspoken option was louder in the silence that followed than any words could have been. Rick clearly hoped for it, but would take whatever Kieren offered. It left Kieren feeling dizzy, as if teetering on the edge of a precipice.

“You really mean it?”

“Of course.”

“And then after this…?”

“Anything you want.”

Kieren let out a rush of air, half laughing. “Anything I want,” he echoed, feeling a flicker of frustration for the first time since opening the door. “How about you not completely disappearing again?”

It hurt to say it, and to face the pain. Rick was clearly stung by it too, but nodded, knowing he deserved it.

“Done.”

Kieren huffed again, shaking his head and wishing it really could be that easy. He looked directly at Rick, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt? How scared you were?”

He could see the effort Rick put into not looking away; into letting Kieren see everything he was feeling. It clearly hurt. “I didn’t know how. And I regret it every day. I want… If you’ll let me, I want to make it up to you. Pick up where we left off, start again… Anything.”

They fell silent for a moment, and Kieren aware of one of the doors in the house being opened and closed. He didn’t move though - this was far more important. Rick was genuine in his desire, that much was obvious, and the attraction of having him back in his life conflicted with Kieren’s worry that Rick might disappear again.

“Your parents told me you wrote,” Rick continued softly, “I wish I’d known.”

“You never got any of my letters?”

Rick shook his head. “I would have written back if I did. I mean, I wrote, but I never knew if you’d want to receive them, so never sent them.”

Kieren took a moment to digest that, unable to believe that none of his letters made it. He’d sent what felt like thousands, and when Rick hadn’t replied he’d eventually stopped sending them, but still wrote them anyway.

“I’d have wanted them. I’d have wanted anything.”

Rick gave a sad smile, his hand tentatively rising to brush against Kieren’s cheek. Kieren didn’t pull away from the contact.

“I realise that now.”

“What changed?”

Rick shrugged, his thumb gently stroking Kieren’s cheekbone. “Nothing, really. Every day I missed you. Every day I thought about you. I messed up something really, really good, and I regret that. I wanted to know how you were doing, and when you’re parents said… Even if we’re just casual friends and you only say ‘hi’ now and then… that better than nothing.”

“My parents said?”

Rick let his hand fall, his gaze dropping. “Yeah. I phoned about two months ago. Your mum nearly hung up on me.” He gave a flicker of a smile at the memory. “She was reluctant to talk to me at first. I could tell how badly I’d upset you.”

Kieren said nothing.

“They didn’t go into detail or give anything away,” Rick hastily reassured him. “They didn’t really need to. I could tell.” His hand sought Kieren’s, holding it firmly, his earnest gaze fixed on Kieren. “And I’m so, so sorry. I swear I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

How Rick had won his parents over Kieren didn’t know, although he could perhaps guess. The young man standing before him was nothing but honest and desperately sincere, clearly hoping for a second chance he knew he didn’t deserve. Kieren’s parents wouldn’t want to expose him to that kind of risk again - not after the way he’d been after Rick left without a word - so they clearly believed Rick’s sincerity. They didn’t think he would bail on Kieren again. And the thing was, Kieren believed him too. Something was different in the way Rick looked at him, and the way he unashamedly held Kieren’s hand. They’d even kissed on the doorstep, where anyone could have seen them. Rick was confident in his affections towards Kieren, even if he was afraid that they weren’t reciprocated.

But they were. Kieren had never stopped loving Rick - he’d just become better at removing himself from his emotions and sealing them away. A myriad of confusing and conflicting feelings had torn free at the sight of his oldest friend, but the deepest current of all was the one of desire and longing. He wanted whatever Rick was offering, and despite all the heartache and pain he’d lived through, he knew it would be worth it.

“How long can you stay?”

Moving his hand in Rick’s, Kieren laced their fingers together, squeezing. Rick lifted their joined hands to his lips, kissing Kieren’s knuckles.

“Well that depends on your parents, and how long you want me, but two weeks.”

Kieren frowned a little. “Seriously? What about your parents?”

Rick’s expression fell, and he paled alarmingly, struggling to inhale. “I saw them yesterday.”

Kieren waited, knowing there was more and hoping Rick was able to share it. His heart went out to the guy. He instantly knew that whatever had happened, it hadn’t gone well.

It took Rick a moment to find the words to explain. “My dad… Well, I told my parents a few weeks ago that I wanted to come see you, and I guess my dad thought I’d give up on the idea. He was furious when he found out that I hadn’t. He made it clear that if I came here to see you, I was no longer welcome at home.”

“And you still came?”

Rick nodded, clearly deeply upset. Kieren pulled him into a one-armed hug, slowly freeing his hand from Rick’s to embrace him properly, his heart aching with pain and admiration. He knew what Bill’s approval meant to Rick. To have walked out on it must have taken more courage that Kieren could ever imagine possessing.

Rick wrapped his arms around Kieren in return, breathing slowly and deeply as if trying to steady himself.

“I’m so sorry, Rick,” Kieren said softly, squeezing just a little bit more in reassurance. “I can’t imagine…”

“Don’t,” Rick said abruptly. He pulled back, fixing Kieren with a stern gaze. “I mean, thanks, but don’t think about it, please.”

“Okay,” Kieren lied. He didn’t know how he was supposed to stop thinking about it. Rick had walked over to Kieren’s house not knowing if he would be accepted or rejected, with the door to his own home having been firmly on him closed behind him. Rick had walked out on the relationship with his dad for a chance at something with Kieren.

He thought Kieren was worth that risk.

“We should go in,” Kieren eventually managed, struggling to process the revelation. The mat he’d been standing on was warm enough against his bare feet, but the smell of food reached him, making him want to gravitate towards the even warmer interior of the house. He was also aware of the fact that his family must be waiting. They’d given them space to talk, but would no doubt be expecting someone to walk through the door any minute, and were probably impatient to start the meal that would be ready by now. Suddenly the fuss made sense - the meal, the vast amount of festive, welcoming decorations, and the excited atmosphere. His family were happy to have Rick back. They wanted him there, and for the two of them to reconcile.

“Shall I leave my bag here?” Rick asked, shifting to unlace his boots and tug them off.

“Uhm, for now,” Kieren nodded. He watched as Rick straightened, admiring his strong physique and realising with a warm rush that Rick really could be his again.

“God I’m nervous,” Rick admitted with a laugh.

“Don’t be,” Kieren said gently, despite the fact he was too. He reached out, taking Rick’s hand in his own, and gave him a smile. “As I said - welcome home.”

With that, he leant in and gave Rick a brief, gentle kiss, before pulling back with a wide smile. Rick returned it, looking overwhelmingly relieved at the reassuring gesture, and as they walked through the door together, hand in hand, he seemed only too happy to press that little bit closer to Kieren, his hold never once wavering.

He really was home.


End file.
